We have lived here for three years and most times I feel like this is home, and then there was January 8 2013, the day I was reminded this is not home, and it won't ever be home. The family and I had headed south to spend some time with some colleagues, let the kids play with friends and just take a day to relax. We left Belgrade hoping to be in Krajlevo by lunch. Well that plan kinda blew up when I got pulled over for speeding... let me set the scene.
We were leaving a little town heading into the country coming around a curve over a hill with a speed limit of 80 kmh, as I topped the hill the oncoming traffic flashed their lights (international sign for "slow down speed trap ahead". So I began to slow down and alas was to late, because at the top of the hill the speed limit reduces to 50 kmh - that folks is a classic speed trap.
I have been pulled over before (in Belgrade they do random stops to check documents etc) and usually the sight of a US passport allows me to be on my way.... but not today.
I got out of the car and the officer walked me to the Police SUV that had a serious radar gun/camera set up. He showed me I had been speeding and the told me to go stand by my car. (That is the car with a crying Wilson and two fretful girls because every minute we are sitting on the road is a minute we are not playing with our friends). Well after waiting for about 30 minutes on the side of the road (while others were pulled over given their ticket and sent on their way) I was informed we had to go see the judge. After another 15 minutes of trying to figure out why we had to go to the judge and we were told because we were foreigners.
So we follow a policeman to the station (not where the judge is by the way) and wait for over and hour and a half while they process paper work. Most of this time was spent with Miki or K crying because they were missing play time/or thinking I was going to jail. GOOD TIMES!! I tried repeatedly to get someone to give me a ticket and a fine so I could pay it and we could go, to no avail.
After our needless and pointless wait at the station we followed some police to the court to see the judge.
By this time Jen and I had come to the conclusion that this may be one of those situations where everyone may not know exactly what they were doing. This assumption was proven correct as half the police and my family went to one floor and me and some other police (no lie dangerous criminal that I am, I was always lead around by a minimum of three officers) went to a different floor. The officers I was with then proceeded to stop in every office along a very long corridor trying to find the judge. GOOD TIMES!! Finally we found the judge and I was told to wait on a bench in the hall. In the meantime I was reunited by my family (Jen thanks it was all a ploy to get us separated where one of would break and give up the other one).
Alas we are aloud to see the judge. We marched in with the whole family. Hoping to play the sweet family, cute kids that speak Serbian card and get on our way. After about 30 minutes with the judge asking us completely stupid questions and explaining the seriousness of our offense I finally said we just want to pay whats the fine. She responded with how much do I make? (see this goes back to our know one has a clue theory and they are making this up as they go). So we got a 10% fine after being told it was in the "middle".
It took me another hour to pay my fine and get my passport back but after about 5 hours, we were on our way. We did make it to our friends by dinner and I will so enjoy getting pulled over for speeding in America.
