This past week I had the pleasure? honor? torture? to attend the USA vs. THE DEMOCRATIC PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF NORTH KOREA (ironic name for arguably the least free most brutal country in the world) in the Women's World Cup. Of the 22,000 people at the game I was quite sure I was the only one that was not a fan of soccer. To get past my dislike for soccer I spent a week prepping and viewing this game for what it was, an epic struggle between Communism and Democracy. In my mind this was 1980 USA VS USSR. Now the game had some significance for me.
Seeing as the finer points of the game (apparently their are many) are lost on me I thought I would share my thoughts of the game retro diary style:
5:00 Walking through Dresden toward the stadium, it was easy to find because everyone else in the city was walking that way. Just follow the crowd.
5:15 An hour before kick off (Is that what they call it because they really don't kick the ball as much as pat it backwards to a teammate). The teams take the field to warm up. As an old coach I thought I would use this time to scout the teams. Here is what I observed:
1. The USA coach is Swedish and wearing shorts and a tshirt to help warm the team up - the Korean coach looks like a banker (a communist banker at that) - ADVANTAGE DEMOCRACY
2. For warm ups the USA has the coach, 5 athletic men, and about 15 girls giving out Gatorade, helping the team get ready. the Koreans have 2 Guys and a banker - ADVANTAGE DEMOCRACY
3. America is a melting pot and the team represented that well ethnically, the Koreans looked like clones(same hair, same size etc) its hared to find your girl when they all look alike - ADVANTAGE COMMUNISM
4. The USA women are big and strong, Koreans little and quick. I felt the USA was going to get physical and bludgeon the little Koreans - ADVANTAGE DEMOCRACY
5. The American team looked loose and ready to go. The Koreans not so much. Very serious, no smiling (of course when you live under a crazy dictator, not so much to smile about. I think most of the Korean team was preoccupied plotting their defection to the west) - ADVANTAGE DEMOCRACY
So with warm ups coming to a close I felt like this would be all USA, I predicted the score to be 11-2 USA (that's a typical soccer score right)
6:00 The teams take the field, and stand next to their national flags. For a guy living overseas I love seeing the stars and stripes and then that me and about 10000 Americans (although 9999 of them were soccer fans so that lessens their collective americaness) belting out the Star Spangled banner! Great moment.
6:03 Communist anthem, remarkably no one in our section knew the words
6:05 Starting lineups introduced, Kim is a popular name in the DPR and the German referees get the loudest applause. Seriously the 12,000 Germans went nuts for the hometown refs.
6:08 Pat off and the game is under way.... seeing how the first half (47 minutes) was incredibly boring I'll use this space to discuss soccer. I was completely lost as to when to boo or cheer, who knew kicking the ball out of bounds was good? Soccer people like to talk about how tough a game soccer is and how physical it is but any time the possessor of the ball gets touched the crowd goes nuts screaming for a foul or penalty or whatever you call an infraction. So soccer people, either its a physical game and we let a little pushing and shoving go on or its a sissy game and we get a foul called on every touch - decide now! On this point, I will say that when the women fall or get tripped they don't act like they lost a limb like the men, they hop up and keep playing, good job girls. I was really disappointed when the ball gets kicked into the crowd (referred to my all night as a foul ball) that you could not keep the ball. I told my dad I was keeping it if they kicked it to me. Other then this not to much to learn here, try to advance the ball and kick past the goalie (by the way keeper is apparently the correct term) and score. For 47 minutes this did not happen, mostly someone was kicking the ball out of bounds.
6:55 Halftime
7:15 Second half begins, much more exciting. Both teams realize a tie is not good and begin attacking more and kicking the ball out of bounds less. Again the Americans are still playing pretty relaxed and you can sense some nerves from the Koreans.
7:22 America almost scores, the ball bounces high off the crossbar, crowd is seriously let down.
7:26 GOOOOOOOAL!!!!! USA USA USA USA chants feel the stadium as our girls get on the board first (strangely enough the stadium did not have a scoreboard you saw the score on the live feed on the tv). Great pass across the field and a header in the net. Instantly you could feel the energy shift to Americas side. Thousands of men were let down as no American players slid across the field shirtless.
7:40 GOOOOOOOAL!!!!! USA USA USA.... on a rebound (i guess that's what you call it) we kick one in to take a 2-0 (nil if you speak soccer) lead. I wrote in my notebook, game over. The communist were done, it was just like when the wall started being chipped away, you knew there was no comeback here.
8:00 GAME OVER... WHAT???? there is extra time, arbitrarily determined by the ref. that's crazy! so we have two more minutes to play
8:01 GOOOOOAL!!!!! USA USA USA...... WHAT??? the ref has waved off the goal without explanation. Refs have way to much power (the real reason I think some of her old East Germaness felt sorry for the Koreans)
8:02 GAME OVER, for real this time.
DEMOCRACY, FREEDOM, USA 2
communism 0
As we walk out of the stadium I'm humming Eye of the Tiger and pretty excited about what I just got to witness. Will I become a soccer fan soon, doubtful. Well I continue to follow the American team through this tournament, of course. Am I grateful to my dad for giving me this experience, you bet.
USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
Seeing as the finer points of the game (apparently their are many) are lost on me I thought I would share my thoughts of the game retro diary style:
5:00 Walking through Dresden toward the stadium, it was easy to find because everyone else in the city was walking that way. Just follow the crowd.
5:15 An hour before kick off (Is that what they call it because they really don't kick the ball as much as pat it backwards to a teammate). The teams take the field to warm up. As an old coach I thought I would use this time to scout the teams. Here is what I observed:
1. The USA coach is Swedish and wearing shorts and a tshirt to help warm the team up - the Korean coach looks like a banker (a communist banker at that) - ADVANTAGE DEMOCRACY
2. For warm ups the USA has the coach, 5 athletic men, and about 15 girls giving out Gatorade, helping the team get ready. the Koreans have 2 Guys and a banker - ADVANTAGE DEMOCRACY
3. America is a melting pot and the team represented that well ethnically, the Koreans looked like clones(same hair, same size etc) its hared to find your girl when they all look alike - ADVANTAGE COMMUNISM
4. The USA women are big and strong, Koreans little and quick. I felt the USA was going to get physical and bludgeon the little Koreans - ADVANTAGE DEMOCRACY
5. The American team looked loose and ready to go. The Koreans not so much. Very serious, no smiling (of course when you live under a crazy dictator, not so much to smile about. I think most of the Korean team was preoccupied plotting their defection to the west) - ADVANTAGE DEMOCRACY
So with warm ups coming to a close I felt like this would be all USA, I predicted the score to be 11-2 USA (that's a typical soccer score right)
6:00 The teams take the field, and stand next to their national flags. For a guy living overseas I love seeing the stars and stripes and then that me and about 10000 Americans (although 9999 of them were soccer fans so that lessens their collective americaness) belting out the Star Spangled banner! Great moment.
6:03 Communist anthem, remarkably no one in our section knew the words
6:05 Starting lineups introduced, Kim is a popular name in the DPR and the German referees get the loudest applause. Seriously the 12,000 Germans went nuts for the hometown refs.
6:08 Pat off and the game is under way.... seeing how the first half (47 minutes) was incredibly boring I'll use this space to discuss soccer. I was completely lost as to when to boo or cheer, who knew kicking the ball out of bounds was good? Soccer people like to talk about how tough a game soccer is and how physical it is but any time the possessor of the ball gets touched the crowd goes nuts screaming for a foul or penalty or whatever you call an infraction. So soccer people, either its a physical game and we let a little pushing and shoving go on or its a sissy game and we get a foul called on every touch - decide now! On this point, I will say that when the women fall or get tripped they don't act like they lost a limb like the men, they hop up and keep playing, good job girls. I was really disappointed when the ball gets kicked into the crowd (referred to my all night as a foul ball) that you could not keep the ball. I told my dad I was keeping it if they kicked it to me. Other then this not to much to learn here, try to advance the ball and kick past the goalie (by the way keeper is apparently the correct term) and score. For 47 minutes this did not happen, mostly someone was kicking the ball out of bounds.
6:55 Halftime
7:15 Second half begins, much more exciting. Both teams realize a tie is not good and begin attacking more and kicking the ball out of bounds less. Again the Americans are still playing pretty relaxed and you can sense some nerves from the Koreans.
7:22 America almost scores, the ball bounces high off the crossbar, crowd is seriously let down.
7:26 GOOOOOOOAL!!!!! USA USA USA USA chants feel the stadium as our girls get on the board first (strangely enough the stadium did not have a scoreboard you saw the score on the live feed on the tv). Great pass across the field and a header in the net. Instantly you could feel the energy shift to Americas side. Thousands of men were let down as no American players slid across the field shirtless.
7:40 GOOOOOOOAL!!!!! USA USA USA.... on a rebound (i guess that's what you call it) we kick one in to take a 2-0 (nil if you speak soccer) lead. I wrote in my notebook, game over. The communist were done, it was just like when the wall started being chipped away, you knew there was no comeback here.
8:00 GAME OVER... WHAT???? there is extra time, arbitrarily determined by the ref. that's crazy! so we have two more minutes to play
8:01 GOOOOOAL!!!!! USA USA USA...... WHAT??? the ref has waved off the goal without explanation. Refs have way to much power (the real reason I think some of her old East Germaness felt sorry for the Koreans)
8:02 GAME OVER, for real this time.
DEMOCRACY, FREEDOM, USA 2
communism 0
As we walk out of the stadium I'm humming Eye of the Tiger and pretty excited about what I just got to witness. Will I become a soccer fan soon, doubtful. Well I continue to follow the American team through this tournament, of course. Am I grateful to my dad for giving me this experience, you bet.
USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
1 comment:
You are hilarious! I laughed out loud several times. Really liked the "Advantage Communism" on the girls all looking alike.
Brilliant post!
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