My Wants His Will

Last week was an incredibly hard week.  Maybe the hardest one since we came to Serbia.  What made it hard, my (our) wants not being fulfilled.  To make a long story very short, Jen and I did not get something we had hoped for we hoped for.  Honestly it was something that would have made the next  2.5 years much easier on all of us. The part that made it really difficult was not  the not getting it, it was that a decision maker simply decided we could not have it, no logical reason, just no.  That is really hard to swallow and it got me thanking about wanting.  Where does wanting come from, why is it so powerful?  Why are we so dissapointed when we don't get what we want?  After alot of prayer and searching I really thank wanting is from God.  If you look back at Genesis, pre sin, Adam wanted to be with God, and do all God wanted him to do.  God put want in us, the want to praise him, to see him Glorified, these are all good things to want.  But when sin entered the picture our want shifted from what God wanted for us, and what he gave us the desire to want, to what we wanted, what would please us.  And many has this made may mind stir this week.  Who wanted this apartment, me or God.  What was his will in all this?  Would he really close a door in a way that was so hurtful?  So many questions and so few answers.  All that to say, I really still want that apartment, but more then that I want God to show me exactly what and where he wants me, and sometimes no matter how we try, that's just hard.